After seven days, I'm declaring Spa Week a great success! I'm so glad I decided to step back from having returned to serious drinking. I feel a lot better. Last week, I had started to feel like my mind was wrapped in cotton batting. Now I feel mentally sharp and clear. And calm. Also, my skin and eyes are clear, and while it may seem shallow to care about that, I do care. I'm not looking for the fountain of youth, or trying to preserve myself in a vat or anything. It's just nice to be healthy, and to look it.
The biggest surprise of the week isn't that skin & mind clarity, though. It's this: all week, I didn't want to drink. (Unless you count that one halfhearted little moment of want that couldn't even work itself up into a craving.) I really wasn't depriving myself. I was relieved.
Since I'm happy not drinking, you'd think I'd have made up my mind about it altogether, but I haven't quite. I still think I might be able to have a drink on occasion. I get all twisted up thinking about that, and then I don't even know what I think, or what I want. So what I'm going to commit to is this: I'm going to pay attention to how I feel, and what I want, and how that works. And in a few days, I'll take stock of what I'm learning from that. And I'll let you know.
If you're still here, thanks for reading. I'm off to make some yummy dinner, and another pomegranate ginger fizzy drink.
Peace and joy.
T
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