It's day 3 of my home spa week: treating myself to sparking water and slightly fancy juices and relaxation, not doing much except what I have to do. (Oh yes, and no booze.) That said, I'm working 5 days this week, so it's not really a vacation. But classes are out, so at least I have no deadlines for a couple of weeks. I have little chunks of unscheduled time, and that's a luxury.
So far it's going well. I'm already starting to feel more clear. I'm remembering how much I enjoy the fancy drinks I concoct when I don't have wine. And how much I like getting a good sleep. Unlike when I quit in June, this time I've had none of the fatigue or insomnia or night sweats, or even crankiness. Just me, enjoying the rest. To help me think my way through this, I've made myself a scorching list of what I don't like about drinking too much. It's too long to post in detail, and not super interesting for all that detail, but the gist of it is what you'd expect: feel better physically, feel better mentally, don't waste so much money, don't worry vaguely about problems with memory/self/others caused by drinking, don't avoid same vague worries. So it's not an insubstantial list. Writing it out in excruciating detail seemed a good idea. I didn't really do that this summer, but I think it might be helpful.
But this time, I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. No challenges, no proclamations. Just me, trying to figure out how to solve the drinking thing. Maybe it's drinking a whole lot less. (Yes, I know many think this isn't possible. But some people do manage it.) Maybe it's giving it up altogether. I don't know yet. I'm just trying to figure it out for myself.
Tonight we are having a friend in for dinner, a very heavy drinker. Ironically, that makes me much less likely to want a drink at all, though there might be a moment at the table when I have a wee pang. But the ongoing heavy drinking stage, that's when all the fun is long gone, or al least it seems that way to me, and I don't want to participate in that. I'm looking forward to the cooking, which I guess I should start thinking about soon.
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On a festive note, here's an idea for a yummy drink that tastes as festive as festive gets. It looks good in a big wine glass or in a long, slender tumbler.
1-2 oz pomegranate juice, to taste
a little lime juice (usually I juice 1/2 a lime and use 1/2 that, so a tablespoon or two)
dash ginger juice (I buy it in a little bottle in the grocery juice aisle)
fill the glass with sparkling water or soda water
It really is glass of tart and fizzy joy! Let me know if you try it and like it. (It's also good without the lime juice, or with lemon instead of time, or cranberry instead of pomegranate.)
OK, thanks for reading if you're reading. Peace and fizzy joy to you all.
T
Yum yum and peace and fizzy joy right back atcha. You know.. even if we stop, start, fumble, try, try again, whatever.. at least we are robustly facing the truth head on… it's the deep denial that so many people live with that really gets to me.. not even being honest with yourself would be such a killer. Great to be hearing from you and hope you have a Merry Christmas! xxx
ReplyDeleteMrs D! It's so nice to hear from you. Yes, I am trying to be honest with myself on this. That's both why I backed away from blogging and why I returned. I can't tell you how miserable it was to be drinking lots again. (Of course, you already know. ) Lots to think about on this. I really appreciate your support through it. Hope you have a great Christmas, too! xo
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